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Garbanzos

by P.A. Holmes

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1.
Anniversary 02:17
All those things that you want me to do I hope you know I want to do them too But I just can't Overcome the feeling that I'm wasting something Another year and I still got no money And I know you'll put it aside And I know someday this shit will be behind us You'll move on and then you'll find somebody else And I'll be stunted and alone And if we're holding out for something better All that I can do is maybe let it go I'll just it go I won't believe it when I know And I know we never planned to go Too long after the fun was over All our expectations were for show Because experiences come and go but No one wants to be alone forever No one will ever fill the hole And time is never gonna slow I'll be just another memory informing your brain chemistry If someone doesn't sit me down and talk some sense into me That's just something to think about on your one year anniversary
2.
Two Hands 02:04
You know, we got two hands And it's better than one hand And I'm better with your hand Tucked away in my own Cause I didn't understand That I'm useless without you Until I was without you Until I was alone Yeah we had two hands But I forgot all about that And I just walked out and left you alone And I know that you told me Every end's a beginning That tumult is needed In order to grow I wouldn't be so scared to be so all alone If I had never known that I was not whole But since you've been with me I've learned I'm demonstrably Deficient when it's just me So maybe don't go Cause we had two hands And it's better than one hand And I'm better with your hand Tucked away in my own Cause I know that I did bad And I feel bad about that But I'm not about that anymore Yeah we had two hands And it's better than one hand I'm better with your hand Tucked away in my own Cause I didn't understand That I'm useless without you Until I was without you Until I was alone
3.
I want it all and I want it cheap I want it shipped in two days for free And maybe the workers don't get to sleep Or spend any time with their families But that's not my fault I need my things Don't need a job, they just need a gig To pay the bills until they automate it Until they're one of the billions left With nowhere to go and no reason to live What next? I'll be sorry I asked. Capital, our shared delusion The only thing we all believe in And I know that no one's lunch is free But it shouldn't be a fucking privilege to not have to go hungry It went to shit so gradually Nobody knows how it's supposed to be And one day we'll just have the BuzzFeed lists To recall what it was like when we were kids Forget the things that we gave up To get it faster or to save a buck It was us who invited them in It was us who invited them in It was us who invited them in It was us who invited them in Capital, our shared delusion The only thing we all believe in And I know that nothing comes for free But I just can't afford to live or die in this selfish fucking country I've been here before And it's just that what we're waiting on's not here And you'll miss it when it's gone, I know But we've got our whole damn lives to pay off all their fees
4.
White Noise 03:15
7:55 pm You used a plectrum as a psilocybin fun dip stick After feeling pretty bad again For no reason, just so sick of this self-pitying It's been droning Always going For as long as you can remember You'd be amazed at all the ways you can convince yourself you care 7:45 am You're lying wasted on somebody else's pull-out bed But you breathe a little easier Knowing that nothing counts for shit, someday we'll all be dead And it's been droning Always going As it seeps into the idle air And with time it stands to reason that you'll just forget it's there This is the sound of white noise

credits

released May 26, 2023

guitar / bass / vocals / synthesizer - P.A. Holmes
drums / percussion - Chris Pires
additional vocals - Nicholas Cummins

Mastered by Ian Farmer at the Metal Shop
Cover design by Sandra Zduneck

recorded 2021-22 in the Lemon Throne Room in Los Angeles, CA and Trainspotter Studios in Portland, OR.

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Lemon Throne Records Portland, Oregon

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